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Looking for Love… In All the Wrong Places March 8, 2009

Posted by aetiusromulous in Commentary, Uncategorized.
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burbfam-240x238-brandMy grandmother used to say, “There’s a lid for every pot,” meaning there was someone out there for everyone. That may be the case, but it seems to me, finding that ‘lid’ is much harder these days.

 I have a couple of divorced girlfriends who could tell you horror stories about dates gone bad. But the hardest part of being single they say, is actually finding a date in the first place.

So when they heard about an on-line dating seminar, they signed up. Despite being happily married, I signed up too. You can never have too much information, plus, as I told my husband, it never hurts to be prepared. 

 Looking around the room I knew why some of them had turned to on-line dating. I wanted to grab one woman and say ‘Honey, if you want to land a man, you’re going to have to lose those pink earmuffs.”

 The instructor, who I swear was really there to gush about her new life with her new husband, (whom she met on-line) shared her four years of experience with on-line dating. She admitted to kissing many toads before finding her prince. SLUT!

 She gave a few tips to ensure safety while dating. I thought most were pretty obvious. 

  • – Always speak on the phone before meeting them, get their liscense number and phone number and give it to a friend.
  • – Meet in a public place.
  • – Block your telephone number when calling.
  • – Drive your own vehicle to dates until you are sure he’s not a whack job.
  • – Watch for red flags. (One guy, in the first ten minutes of talking with her, referred to his ex saying, she wasn’t ‘worth the skin she was in’). Huge red flag! Ya think?

 My friend told me she only wished she had recognized the red flag when she dated the last guy. They were at the movies and he took the lid off his pop to drink it rather than use the straw like everyone else. She asked him about it, and he said he had a ‘fear of straws‘ from an early age. While driving with his parents when he was little, the car swerved, and the straw he was drinking from rammed up his nose.

 Yes, it’s too bad she didn’t see his ‘fear of straws’ as a red flag. She could have avoided being taken later for five hundred dollars, when he turned out to be a con-man.

Which reminds me, let’s add to the list of guidelines:  If they mention borrowing money,  RUN!

 Much to our surprise, we were told that many men involved in on-line dating sites, are married men looking to have affairs. If that’s what you’re into, I can offer a piece of advice. You don’t need to spend money on a dating site to do this. You can meet married men wanting to have affairs at the grocery store, at the gym and even at church for that matter. Save your money, shop direct.

 One woman, in the audience told us her story about men, who within minutes of introducing themselves on-line, got right into the sex talk. She said she was shocked and couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Oddly enough, she kept talking to them. The instructor told her she should have blocked them immediately. Well, it was pretty obvious to me, the way she lit up while telling the story, she was into it. My only advice would be, why pay an on-line dating fee to talk sex with strangers, when she could have her own phone line, and actually earn money while working flexible hours, in the comfort of her own home.

 The instructor recommended ‘going for coffee’ as a first date, so if the guy is not the man of your dreams, you can keep it short. One woman, spoke up and said she didn’t like the atmosphere of coffee shops, and preferred to have a nice dinner out. The instructor asked what she would do, if in the first ten minutes of the date, she realized the guy was a jerk. The woman replied ‘Well that’s why I prefer to go to dinner, if I’m not going to get the man, at least I’ll get a nice dinner out of it.”

 So you see, everyone has their own reasons for on-line dating. Some people are looking to have an affair, some just want a nice dinner out; others are looking for ‘conversation‘.

 I feel badly for the people who are truly looking for someone to share their life with. It’s too easy on-line, to appear to be someone you’re not. Although we’re told of successful on-line love connections, I think more hearts are broken, than are matched up.

 Having said that, after everything I’ve learned about on-line dating, would I recommend it, if all else fails?

 Absolutely. Why? Because whether you go looking for it, or if it unexpectedly finds you, there is no better feeling than falling in love. You know what they say, ‘better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

 Finding true love is always worth the gamble, even if it means having to kiss a few toads along the way.

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